"No more stand & deliver, you’ll remember this I hope… It’s no fun hanging with highwaymen when you’re hanging from a rope"
"The type of noose used in a public execution varies according to the time of day the execution is to be carried out. This is the 7 o’clock noose. This is the 9 o’clock noose. And this is the noose at 10. And this is the person that wrote that joke".
"I am the greatest military commander that ever lived. I have conquered the known world, and I am barely 26 years old. Perhaps when you found your own city you can name it after yourself… you could call it, hmm, Skinnymandria? But since I’m founding them, I’d like to call it Alexandria. Okay?"